...being told you are heavy and wide does not refer to your physique in the sport of curling?  It means you threw the rock too hard and were off the target. If you're inside, outside, or off the broom it means you missed the target, too.

...meeting between the sheets has no sexual connotations in the sport of curling?  The lanes of ice in a curling rink are called 'sheets'.  In some curling rinks there are walkways between the sheets.

...throwing rocks at houses is the very essence of the sport of curling?  Granite stones with handles, called 'rocks' are thrown down sheets of ice with concentric circles at each end.  These circles are called 'the house'.  Only rocks within the house or touching the house have the possibility of scoring.  The back of the house refers to the part of the ring farthest from the shooter (the person throwing the rock) and the top of the house is the part of the ring closest to the shooter.  Rocks are often purposely thrown in front of the house to 'guard' rocks that are in the rings--making it harder for the opposition to knock out the rocks that are counting.

curling rocks in and in front of the house

...hogging a rock has nothing to do with keeping a rock away from the opposition?  It is what happens if one doesn't throw a curling rock hard enough.  If the rock doesn't get over the line (the hog line) in front of the house, the thrower is said to have 'hogged' the rock and the rock is taken out of play.

...reading the ice is not at all like reading a book?  "sticky" "frosty" "slick" "fast" "hot" "slow" "straight" are some words curlers use to describe the condition of the ice.  Reading the ice correctly is vital in the game of curling.  Each sheet will read differently and often ice conditons change as the game progresses.  The skip places her broom on the ice and the curler aims at the broom, giving the rock a slight 'twirl' as she releases the rock.  The skip doesn't want the rock to end up where she has her broom.  Because the rock is rotating, it will 'curl' in the direction of the rotation and end up...someplace.  The speed of the rock (weight), the condition of the ice, the rock's rotation, the efforts of the sweepers, are some things the skip must consider when deciding where to place her broom so that the rock ends up where she wants it to.

...sweeping a curling rock doesn't make it go faster?  Strong sweeping can, however, make the rock go straighter and make it go farther.

...a bonspiel is a curling competition where teams come together to vie for prizes and/or money and to socialize. It often lasts several days and involves food and drink, and perhaps fund-raising activities like raffles, Nevada, silent auctions. 

...there are four people on a standard curling team who throw 2 rocks each. Two teams compete on each 'sheet'.  The 'skip' is the leader, calls the shots and usually (but not always) throws the very important last two rocks. The lead throws the first two rocks, followed by the 2nd, and then the 3rd. The 3rd will usually hold the broom for the skip to aim at when she throws her rocks. If a player is not throwing the rock or holding the broom, they ought to be following the thrown rock down the ice in case the skip wants them to sweep it.

...when all rocks have been thrown, the 'end' is over (like a'period' in hockey or an 'inning' in baseball). League play usually consists of 8 ends. More vigorous and professional tournaments can go up to 12 ends.

CURLING...my favourite winter sport.

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